tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3112529335397528732.post670924002439689853..comments2023-09-27T08:21:15.626-04:00Comments on Obscurum: PoemArkonbeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11056581569235023216noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3112529335397528732.post-64292509407743640082007-07-30T21:31:00.000-04:002007-07-30T21:31:00.000-04:00I've posted a crappy scan of the other piece arkon...I've posted a crappy scan of the other piece arkonbey referred to <A HREF="http://andrezero.blogspot.com/2007/07/poem.html" REL="nofollow">here</A> if you want to see it. I'll post a better copy of it if I can figure out how to scan in a better copy...Andre Messierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10093510281434621951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3112529335397528732.post-28507640633894239552007-07-27T08:04:00.000-04:002007-07-27T08:04:00.000-04:00Thanks everyone for all of the criticism. I've rea...Thanks everyone for all of the criticism. I've really looked it over and am going to work on the perspective. I do think that I need to keep the far rafter to provide a balance with the weight of the near rafter.<BR/><BR/>I can't wait to get carving.Arkonbeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11056581569235023216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3112529335397528732.post-24302228549298656862007-07-26T18:41:00.000-04:002007-07-26T18:41:00.000-04:00Great composition! The perspective on the floor i...Great composition! The perspective on the floor is a bit wonky but it's a great vantage point and illustration!Elihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04805422216032095098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3112529335397528732.post-56893516815968212902007-07-26T08:15:00.000-04:002007-07-26T08:15:00.000-04:00Very nice. The subtle cricket in shadow is great. ...Very nice. The subtle cricket in shadow is great. I agree with the other comments that the second rafter is tricking the eye and the window perspective is off a bit.Gina Perryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07470793439269219158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3112529335397528732.post-42195738580840619652007-07-26T07:59:00.000-04:002007-07-26T07:59:00.000-04:00By all means tweak awaybut it pleases meenormously...By all means tweak away<BR/>but it pleases me<BR/>enormously <BR/>just as <BR/>it <BR/>is<BR/>.neilornsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13801846660514387906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3112529335397528732.post-82638598959000061082007-07-26T01:23:00.000-04:002007-07-26T01:23:00.000-04:00To me it is the disparity in size between the two ...To me it is the disparity in size between the two rafters that throws me off. Maybe shrink the rafter in the foreground? <BR/><BR/>Are the bottom windows supposed to be taller than the upper windows? That makes their perspective look odd.Focus_rethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09818251970555282622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3112529335397528732.post-57548123029859600442007-07-26T00:51:00.000-04:002007-07-26T00:51:00.000-04:00I like the colors. I think the second rafter is pr...I like the colors. I think the second rafter is probably not necessary. It throws the perspective off on the tatami mats. I covered it up with my finger and then the space look more natural. <BR/><BR/>Just a thought...Swinebreadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02947060321484913676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3112529335397528732.post-55066290371135769852007-07-25T23:55:00.000-04:002007-07-25T23:55:00.000-04:00I like the style and colours.I like the style and colours.ElizThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05691208021622155317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3112529335397528732.post-22890843304454839162007-07-25T22:51:00.000-04:002007-07-25T22:51:00.000-04:00Charming and sad at the same time - very well done...Charming and sad at the same time - very well done!Miz Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10515500855764454649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3112529335397528732.post-5941775539327491482007-07-25T22:42:00.000-04:002007-07-25T22:42:00.000-04:00not sure but i think the floor tiles are off... (a...not sure but i think the floor tiles are off... (angle wise) or window.... ONE or the other needs to change. otherwise it will be stunning. :).Visually its nicely paced and spaced.. like the colours as well. Please post the finished piece. <BR/><BR/>ps.. (me too... once Ive read somebody ONE of my poems.. they understand how to read the rest... so I do understand).Janice Ykemahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04008700742244595338noreply@blogger.com