Here's the new version of the comic page from a few days ago. I thought the original just sucked, so I had to do it again. This one, while having its failings, works much better. I learned a lot from doing it.
Opinions?

Listening to while posting: "Roller Coaster Ride" By Belle & Sebastian.
truly awesome.
ReplyDeleteI love the detail on the inside of the plain. It just rocks my mind.
Well done indeed!
I liked the first one better.
ReplyDeleteKidding!
The details do add a lot as does rotating the authority figure as Swinebread suggested.
I likes.
Snab: DUDE! You totally had me going! your 'kidding' was just beneath the fold and first I was "huh?" and then I was mad because you didn't qualify it.
ReplyDeleteGood job.
Dr. S: thanks. I was wondering if the detail in the plane was enough.
Oh Yeah!
ReplyDeleteI love how he looks real pathetic until the last panel, and I'm like "oh Shit!"
Those cops are dead meat.
Shading is better too
This is pretty awesome! I love your style it just adds so much.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog man!
this version is MUCH better. Just looking at the original, I didn't really see what was missing, until I saw the latest iteration. Then everything that lacking in the original really stands out. The plane detail (that sounds like an oxymoron) makes a huge difference. the shading on the uniforms is more subtle but looks really good.
ReplyDeleteGreat Job!
Swine: "Those cops are dead meat." What? How do you know that? Damn script must have been leaked!
ReplyDeleteBecca: thanks!
AndreZero: I feel mostly the same except when I look at the old one I go "ewwww!". Hey, you've got till Friday to introduce your villain...
I like it. The last frame is my favorite. Very evil/ ominous.
ReplyDeleteI know this has been probably already been asked but is he a vampire and is he wearing sunblock?
Dean:
ReplyDeleteActually, it should have been a secret that Raymond wasn't all human. In the story I'm working on, it's mystery until the story's well underway.
The only reason I did this reveal at all is because the whole group of characters (Anne Johnson, Murray Lopez and Raymond) are part of a big contest at the www.daredetectives.com forums: Hero, Abilities, Sidekick, Environment and now Villain. If I didn't at least hint at what Raymond might be, he'd be a pretty boring-looking villain, yes?
So, if you're intrigued, stay tuned. We're having our (nearly published) writer friend over to the house on Friday and I'll see if I can entice her into helping make the story work.