Sunday, April 13, 2008

Comic Review Number Three

Now.

Having no new comics this week, I choose to review, what even Sweet Enemy refers to as: The Worst Comic Book Ever. This comic is the Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid of the comic world; a film not even slightly good enough to me MST3K'd.

Prepare yourselves for the horror that is:

THE WIZARD OF TIME!



It is 1985, a time before even the possibility of web comics. What is a terrible artist and storyteller who feels the burning need to share his/her vision with the world? Well, somehow get the thing print and actually charge money for it.

The art. Oh, the art. It is about one step below the average highschool freshman's biology notebook doodles. Here, is the 'title page'. What should be a gorgeous splash page, showcasing the abilities of the artist while introducing you to the action and story, is and does so, but not in a good way:



Look at the terrible perspective, the lack of detail, the horrendous anatomy, the abysmal cartoony stylization. The worst part is you can tell that the artist probably had no idea of his shortcomings. And research? Find a picture of a boat to use a reference? Oh, no.

His comic pacing skills are also terrible. Look at this exchange:



Just after this action-packed exchange, he has the 'navigator' asking the cowled guy what a horizon was while holding a sextant. For some reason, that bugged the bejeezus out of me.

I am running out of words to describe this thing, so I'll leave you with a page from the story that runs parallel to the 'cowled guy on ship' story. Two more poorly drawn anthro animals. The duck, apparently, is supposed to be female. Go figure.



There you go. Be thankful I did not share the entire issue nor the Backup Story at the end. If this were a web comic it would be reviewed here. Why did I subject you to this? So, my comic would look fabulous!

listening to while posting: an episode of Says You on Vermont Public Radio

4 comments:

Doctor Smoke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Doctor Smoke said...

the dog guy's face looks like a floppy penis.

one hundred thousand megawatts of wrong.

eugh.
thanks for making my eyes dirty, you fiend.
;-)

Dean Wormer said...

Ha! Great review. I will avoid that comic at all costs.

Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid rivals The Toxic Avenger as the best of truly awful Troma films.

I have an autographed copy of "Make Your Own Damned Movie" by the guy that did those flicks.

Arkonbey said...

Dean: Toxic Avenger is a work of genius.

Fat Guy is so bad it can't be appreciated on any level. I mean that. In college three friends and I got drunk and decided to watch it. We couldn't even make it all of the way through.

Is the Make Your Own Damned Movie on VHS or Beta?